Victim Mentality: Are Some People Addicted To Feeling Like A Victim?

By Oliver JR Cooper 

If someone sees themselves as an empowered human being, it means that they won't have a victim mentality. Likewise, if someone has a victim mentality, they won't see themselves as an empowered human being.

What this illustrates is that one can't be both; they are either one or the other. At the same time, even if one does see themselves as an empowered human being, it doesn't mean that they won't feel like a victim from time to time.

Back On Track

For example, something could take place in their life that wipes them out, with them feeling as though the world is against them. Still, it might not be long until they come to their senses and realise that this is not the case.

One could see this as just their mind playing tricks on them, and, as they are feeling a bit under the weather, it will have been easier for their mind to exert its influence. Like an intruder, it will have noticed an opening and pounced.

A Choice

Generally, they are going to believe that they are someone who has control over their life. There will be what they can do and there will be how they can respond to what happens to them.

In other words, even if one can't do anything to change something, they still have control over what takes place in their own head. This will stop them from getting sucked into things that are out of their control.

Emotional Experience

One may find that they have the tendency to feel not only empowered, but to also feel capable, at peace, connected, and grateful. Being thankful for what they have, as opposed to getting worked up about what they don't have or what is not going their way, will undoubtedly have a positive effect on their wellbeing.

It will also be a lot easier for other people to be around them; whereas if they had an entitlement mentality, it would be a different story. Their energy will be far more appealing to others as a result.

A Fulfilling Existence

Another benefit of living in this way is that one is going to have the right mentality to meet their needs and to achieve their goals. When it comes to their career, for instance, they may be doing something that is deeply rewarding.

This area of their like could be backed up by the relationships that they have with other people, with them having a number of people in their life who they can be themselves around. They may also be in intimate relationship with someone who they appreciate, or have been with someone like this not too long ago.

Another Reality

So, when someone has a victim mentality, it is not going to be possible for them to feel like an empowered human being. Or, if they do end up feeling empowered, it won't be long until they return to how they usually feel.
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In their eyes, the world, along with most of people in it, will be out to hold them back in any way that they can. As a result of this, there are likely to be a number of negative feelings that they are used to experiencing.

Emotional Experience

At times, they may feel angry, frustrated and full of rage, while at other times, they could feel powerless, helpless, and hopeless. When they feel angry and even rageful, they will most likely feel strong but, when they feel helpless, they will most likely feel weak.

There may even be times when they feel as though they are morally superior to others; as unlike others, they are not keeping anyone down in life. This might be the only way that they are able to experience positive feelings.

Held Back

Due to feeling as though they are being kept down by others, they could have an entitlement mentality. They are not going to be able to fulfil their needs and to achieve their goals because of these people, so these people will have a duty to give them things.

After all, it won't be as if one is choosing to experience life in this way; it is something that is out of their hands. And, what will prove this is how angry they are about how they are experiencing life.

Clear Resistance

If they were comfortable with what is taking place, and happy with not being able to fulfil their needs, they wouldn't be getting angry. However, even though part of them doesn't want to experience life in this way, it doesn't mean that a bigger part of them wants their life to change.

What they may find is that experiencing life in this way is what feels comfortable at a deeper level. Consciously, then, one will want their life to change but, unconsciously, this can be what feels safe.

A Closer Look

It might be hard for them to comprehend how feeling powerless and helpless, for instance, can feel safe; especially as its causing them lead a miserable existence and to experience so much pain. The thing about their ego is that it can end up feeling comfortable with anything; the only thing that matters is that it is familiar.

To this part of them, what is familiar is associated as what is safe, and, the reason why experiencing these feelings can be what feels safe, can be due to what took place at the beginning of their life. This may have been a time when they were abused and/or neglected, setting them up to gradually become emotionally attached to feeling this way.

Awareness

When one doesn't understand how what is taking place at a deeper level is influencing their life, it will be normal for them to feel like a victim. It will appear as though other people are victimising them, even though they are the ones who are victimising themselves.

If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist or healer.

Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over one thousand nine hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10038995

Being Content: How to Not Let Others Affect You

Ever wondered how to be content and happy without letting others affect you? How is it possible? Is it at all possible? This article answers these questions.

Let others' presence not bother you. You do your stuff all by yourself whatever you can. If you need co-ordination or help, ask for it. In break time, have fun and cut jokes and be happy. When you return to your work, do it coolly and be happy. You will cover many milestones this way. Stay in slow and steady mode - after all, you are the person who will win at it. Perseverance and determination always count.

Let others' words not sting at you. Make it go through one ear and out through the other ear. You may not allow what others say hurt you. Be firm and strong and speak boldly. Everything will work out and you do not have to be a people pleaser.

Let how others behave not bother you. You cannot expect everyone to be perfect and up to your standard. Nevertheless talk normally and accept them but don't let them hamper your thoughts or work.

Let how other people dress not bother you. If there is a dress code at work and someone violates it, they will have to pay for it. So you don't bother and sweat. If you don't like the way someone is dressed at a party or reunion, don't bother to say anything. Just keep your distance and mix with the people you are comfortable with and stay contented.

It's not your job to fix anyone. Let others do what they like, talk, behave or wear anything they like. You don't bother about these things unless it's your own family and would like to suggest something more rational or positive.

Learn to be content with your stuff in your place at work or home. Don't let anybody affect your peace of mind. You may sit in a garden for sometime or spend your time at a home library. Time will pass peacefully. If you crave for someone's company, let him or her know that and let them spend time with you for the time being and be content and happy.

Summing up, please don't let others' odd presence or behavior affect you. You may be in for a shock or surprise but it is totally their business. Control yourself and stay cool and at peace with yourself. That way you don't lose your temper or your peace of mind. Instead, tranquility surrounds you in your environment and you are left with your thoughts and work to enjoy and be content.



By Rosina S Khan

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10030214

Wisdom From the Universe: How Do I Change My Life Now?

Life establishes a rhythm and a pattern. Days go by and it may seem as if the world around you is evolving but somehow your life is stuck or never changing, growing, or moving forward. Perhaps it is a pattern of work, debt, struggle, pain, searching, and wanting a better life that constantly surrounds your working thoughts each day.

When you can no longer feel a sense of peace, because your thoughts are overshadowed by the reality of life, this is when you wish for change the most. The worse the conditions of life are perceived to be, the more urgent the need for change becomes.

A person may begin to feel the need to plead to a higher power or supreme being in an attempt to cause changes. And for many, when their lives do not change, it can lead to a sense of frustration and despair.

A universal truth is this: Life can challenge you. Life can cause you pain. Life can make it hard to know how you will ever get ahead when all you can see is the same set of circumstances from day to day. Life holds no guarantees, even if a person is born into perfect circumstances.

Maybe you want more for your life, career, or to wake up with a sense of hope about circumstances. Right now you may be faced with many challenges, from those of a physical nature, to those which are more emotional or spiritual. There may even be added pressures which compound how you feel, from finances to relationships. And you cannot escape the vitriol spread through social media and the news. The cry for change is reaching an all-time high now.

Asking for Help

The natural reaction is to want to ask someone for answers, typically a person who is involved with a faith-based, spiritual, or religious association. They will usually tell you to rely upon another being and this may or may not bring comfort as the conditions seem so out of control to so many, and if a supreme being or deity or source was already in control, wouldn't this entity already step in? Why must so many people plead or pray or beg before changes occur?

When people are told to trust and have faith, this generally means there isn't an answer available that those people are willing to hear or are ready to embrace. Could you imagine if more people accepted the idea the universe is "run" by a Collective Consciousness, not a supreme being, deity, source, or even "the universe" itself? It would be too much for most people to accept as it seems someone must be in charge or controlling all of us in some way now.

Yet the interesting thing is this: When someone is told to pray, they are being told to be quiet and listen. Without knowing it, they are practicing a method of tuning into the Collective Consciousness of Mankind or the living memories and active knowledge of all humans. When knowledge and insight is received, it is assumed a prayer was answered or there was divine intervention. But what happened is the person became receptive enough to receive wisdom available at any time and to anyone.

Here's What You Can Do

This is how a person can begin to initiate change: Tune out the noise and turn within. It's not easy to do when social media keeps us actively engaged in the outrage of the latest news and people's reactions, or we feel no escape from our own lives, but that's how it begins.

Now some spiritual teachers will state a person who is in pain can still be in pain but feel hopeful. A person who is unemployed, debt ridden, depressed, spiritually down, or any other number of devastating factors - can simply choose to think a different thought.

It is true that there is power in how and what we think, and we always have a choice. But you cannot be in the middle of life's conditions and decide new thoughts will in fact create new conditions. The phrase "thoughts become things" is misleading because there is something more to it: The thoughts. That's what the spiritual leaders do not teach. You need to find the thoughts from the Collective Consciousness of Mankind, not just state "I will feel better today".

So what are these thoughts? The thoughts that come from the Collective Consciousness of Mankind are ideas, plans, wisdom, inspiration, and so on.

Make Time to Listen When You Can

Find time to listen with your mind to tune out other thoughts. Some call it meditation. But you can write, paint, draw, walk, or do anything to get into your own zone, to tune out the noise of life, society, and technology. When you do this, just free flow your writing, drawing, or whatever you are doing. Have a question or two about life and wait for inspiration. Wait for it to arrive and it will. It will feel like inspiration, insight, creativity, and happiness most of all.

Use what insight you receive when you make time to listen to decide what steps to take to improve your life or make important decisions. This will allow your attitude to evolve, then your disposition, and before long, you will begin to find new ways of creating improvements in how you live.

You may not eliminate pain, debt, or an unfulfilling job all at once, but knowing you can find insight and wisdom on your own will give you a new sense of self-empowerment and self-confidence. Even a new method of coping with conditions can create a new outlook on your future.


By Dr. Bruce A. Johnson

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10020203